Monday was Columbus Day and in honor of the man who discovered America, President Bush stubbornly refused to accept reality, left a large military contingent to wither and die in hostile territory, and was certain he was doing god’s will. Every day is Columbus Day.

Thomas Schelling and Robert Aumann have been awarded this year’s Nobel Prize in Economics for their work in the area of game theory. The Nobel committee noted their “contributions to game theory in general, and specifically their discovery of the hidden sex scenes in Grand Theft Auto.”

In a surprise move, the Nobel Prize committee awarded this year’s Nobel Prize for Literature to Batman’s arch-nemesis, the Joker.