I had grilled cheese sandwiches and Campbell’s Tomato Soup for lunch. I think I might have it for dinner again. And I do enjoy their Corn Chowder.

Why? A teabagger somewhere noticed that Campbell Canada now sells some soups that are “halal certified,” which is like the Muslim version of “kosher.” (Campbell Canada actually did this eight months ago, but it takes time to read a soup label when you have to sound out each syllable.)

Now, the teabaggers are up in arms that Campbell’s would betray America in such a horrible way, and would hate our freedom so much, and probably something else, but the spelling and grammar are too poor to make it out (I think one of them was trying to spell “indoctrinate.”)

While I do think that their Chunky Baked Potato(e) soup is pretty bad, and so is their Clam Chowder, I feel the need to go out and buy as much Campbell’s soup as I can.

Their Cream of Mushroom has a million-and-one uses, Tomato is the undisputed comfort food classic, and Chicken Noodle is at least as important as orange juice when one has the flu.

Oh, hey! I just found an ancient family recipe that uses Campbell’s Tomato Soup. My racist grandmother used to make it for me, but it’s just as good when made by normal people:

“Rice Dish”

  • 1lb ground beef
  • 1 cup chopped onions (can use more)
  • 1 cup chopped green peppers (optional)
  • 3 cloves of garlic, crushed
  • dash of salt
  • 1 tbsp oregano
  • dash of pepper
  • 1 can Campbell’s™ Tomato Soup
  • 1 8 oz can tomato sauce or tomato paste
  • 1 1/2 cups milk
  • 1 1/3 cups minute rice
  • cheese of your choice

Brown meat in a large skillet. Add onions, garlic and seasonings. After a couple of minutes, add the remaining ingredients (except the cheese) and stir it all together. Let it cook for 15 to 30 minutes, until the rice is done. Add cheese to the top and serve. Thank Allah for His fine soup and drink a toast to the destruction of America and all it holds dear. Serves 4 Jihadists.