Israel has dropped plans to build a three-mile-long moat to separate Gaza and Egypt. Instead, Israel will be buying two dozen anti-black-knight missiles from the U.S.

The Ukraine is the latest country to join the coalition of the un-willing, stating it will pull out of Iraq by October. Analysts predict this will make it harder for the yellow player to make inroads into Europe, and may spell danger for the blue player in the Middle East.

North Korea says it will resume nuclear talks only if the US stops calling it unflattering names like, “outpost of tyranny” and, “axis of evil.” This is a shift in policy, as up to now, the Koreans have been using an “I am rubber, you are glue” strategy.

The Marines, for the second straight month, missed their goal for signing up new recruits. Recruiters are reportedly worried that evolution is finally catching up to them.

Bill Gates was dubbed a knight by Queen Elizabeth this week. Analysts say it’s only fitting, as Microsoft is well known for its medieval software.