Old jokes updated for our modern times.

How do you get a one-armed teabagger out of a tree? Wave to him.

Did you hear about the teabagger who studied for 5 days? He was scheduled to take a urine test.

What do you call five teabaggers sitting in a row? A wind tunnel.

Did you hear about the teabagger who locked his keys in his car? He had to use a coat hanger to get his family out.

Why did the teabagger couple decide to have only 4 children? Because they read in the paper that one out of every five babies born in the world is Chinese.

How do you make a teabagger’s eyes twinkle? Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Why was the teabagger so exited after finishing a puzzle in only six months? Because the box said “From 2-4 years.”

Why can’t teabaggers put in light bulbs? They keep breaking them with the hammers.

Why was the teabagger upset when she got her driver’s license? Because she got an “F” in sex.

What’s five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A teabagger parade!