Check Orientation

*Actor portrayals

Setting: Inside the credit union. A long line of people wait for tellers. The woman at the New Accounts desk, having nobody to help, calls out…

“Does anyone have a straight check deposit? Anyone? A straight check deposit?”

I do, and approach her.

“Sir, you have a straight check deposit?”

It’s stuck in my mind now, and I have to say it as I hand her the check.

“I’m not sure. I think this check is bi.”

She looks it over, apparently thinking I’ve indicated a possible problem. She looks at me quizzically. I will attempt to clarify.

“I mean, really, you shouldn’t discriminate against gay checks.”

There is no recognition in her eyes. There is only a subtly visible growing unease.

Helpfully, I laugh, indicating to her that a joke has just been told, and she did not get it, and that there is no actual issue with the check, and no confrontation is imminent.

She returns the laugh, growing less tense, but no longer able to meet my eye, for I have attempted to amuse her, and failed utterly.

 


 

“Okay, yeah, that’s a pretty good idea, but it’s missing something… something to really put it over the top…”

(Sheepishly raises hand) “I’ve got a cow suit…”

 


 

 

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