Late December, Early January News

“Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events” has become Jim Carrey’s best reviewed movie in years. Four out of five reviewers gave it a rating of “not that crappy.”


Israeli authorities have charged four people who created a string of fake biblical artifacts. The latest fake was an ivory pomegranate thought to be the only artifact from King Solomon’s Temple. Police are still on the lookout for Rabbi Saul, a.k.a. Paul, who made up some story about a guy dying on a cross.



Several Iraqi policemen were killed this week after being lured to a house in Baghdad, just one of a string of attacks on Iraqi police. Investigators say the attackers have become more sophisticated at luring the police into traps.


A doctor returning to the Falluja hospital described the building as utterly wrecked. Conditions were filthy, there was no medical equipment, the staff was in a complete daze… oh… sorry. That was a report on King-Drew Medical Center.


Vital food supplies reached the International Space Station this week aboard a Russian rocket. However, a new problem looms on the horizon, as, due to a clerical error, most of the shipment is beans.


Thailand’s Ministry of Tourism has decided to take lemons and make lemonade, declaring the country “The Driftwood Capital of the World.”


A Cleveland man is suing NBC because he was so disgusted by an episode of “Fear Factor” where contestants were forced to eat dead rats. Watch for similar lawsuits against Survivor, The Real Gilligan’s Island, America’s Top Model, Extreme Makeover, The Swan, The Bachelor, Joe Millionaire, The Amazing Race, My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance, My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss, Who’s Your Daddy, Big Brother, The Biggest Loser, Trading Spaces, and Trading Spouses.


Blackwater Security, the firm that employed four contractors who where burned and dragged through Fallujah last year, is being sued by the victims’ families. The lawsuit claims that Blackwater was negligent by not giving workers proper equipment, and by sending the workers to Iraq.

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